Age and Me

Note:  The blog entry below is a slightly updated version of a journal entry written about this time last year.

Age. I recently realized it has something in common with sex.  At least for me.  My parents never talked about either in honest terms while I was growing up. In fact, they actually talked about age less than they talked about sex. So here I am looking sixty-one right in the face and already I've experienced surprises I was unprepared for. Just like my experiences with sex.



Hair for one. No one told me I wouldn't always have the abundant head of hair I was blessed with. When it first started thinning out I thought I had some kind of disease. The dermatologist assured me I was okay, I wouldn't go bald, and it was natural. It happens to lots of women. Was that supposed to make me feel better? And even the dermatologist didn't tell me that what goes on upstairs, also happens down!



The waistline is another. I have always been slender. My driver's license says 5'9 1/2" and 130 pounds. Both are no longer accurate. The truth is that I'm 5'8 1/2" and I haven't seen 130 in years. It's like the inch I lost in height moved directly to my waistline. I came close to weighing 130 a couple of years ago when I was on the Atkins diet. 133. It felt great but it didn't last. Now I am 140.2. That's 10.2 pounds heavier than I want to be and 5.2 pounds heavier than I'll settle for. And it's all in my waist! Abundant hair, legs and a waist. Those were three aspects of my body that were sources of pride. Now I'm down to one and even they are giving me concern. Cramping at night, unexpected stiffness if I sit too long, and the knees complain on the last steps when going from one level to another.



Breasts. Now that's a topic. I've never been endowed much less well-endowed. Add the loss of estrogen and years of gravity and what I have now is even less. Why, I ask you, couldn't that inch have migrated from my waist to my boobs?! And of course, the flatter I am on top the more pronounced the added inch in my waist. I've gone from a pear shape to a box! All angles, no curves!



Eyes. I've worn glasses or contacts for years. Really only needed them for seeing things in the distance and driving, especially at night. Now I need them for reading, too. Bifocals. Contacts, even with one prescription in each eye, are probably not going to be effective much longer.  In fact, I wear the glasses regularly now.  My vanity no longer trumps my need to see.



Sleep. I used to hit the pillow and be out for the night. I slept predictably well. Now there are nights that I swear I do not sleep. At all. What's with that?



Pills. I remember watching my parents take dozens of pills. Both medication and vitamins. I would laugh at them. I'm up to seven. Vitamin D, Glucosamine/Chondroitin, Calcium, multiple vitamin, aspirin, Omega 3, and magnesium. Whose laughing now?



Sex. I mentioned it in the first paragraph. Not a topic my parents ever discussed with me in terms of educating me about what to expect.  Rather, my dad made it abundantly clear it was something I was to avoid before marriage or there would be dire consequencs.  Yet I know my parents enjoyed sex.  Couldn't not know that living in a trailer 8' X 48'.  Add to that my mother's need to share the extent of their activity in Dad's final years, not all the details mind you, but enough to shock this oldest daughter.  My dad died of a heart attack after sex, sixty-eight. So I knew that even at sixty sex was in the picture. What no one told me was why Viagra would become the drug of choice of men over fifty. What no one told me was that my sexuality would thrive after menopause.



So, those are my aging companions. There are probably a few others. Maybe I haven't experienced them yet. Maybe I've forgotten them. Memory?! Maybe but since mine is impaired for reasons other than aging, I couldn't say. Wisdom? Absolutely, age has brought me some of that but that's for a different list.



What would be on your list?

Wet and Wonderful Wedding

This past weekend Roger and I attended the wedding of Mark's best friend (who was also Mark's best man).  I had my hair done the day before and as is the custom, the hairdresser and I chatted throughout the procedure.  In this case, the topic was the weather and the wedding.  The forecast was ominous -- rain.  My beautician told me that rain on one's wedding day was a good luck sign.  I had never heard such a saying but then, all the weddings I've attended have had good weather.

The day of the wedding it did indeed rain.  All day, off and on.  There were moments when the wind would blow the clouds revealing sun but they were short in duration.  There were longer periods of overcast skies without rain but eventually, rain would fall once again.  As we drove to the wedding site, we were in an overcast spell with no rain but off in the distance to the west, we could see darker clouds.  In our area, weather travels west to east.  It looked ominous.

We arrived without rain but the world was damp and dripping.  Some guests carried umbrellas (I was one) and others could be seen glancing at the sky with worried expressions.  The caterers dried off the white chairs as we waited to be seated and the string quartet, safely positioned under the eaves near the building and doorway, played on.  Once seated, the groomsmen swiftly appeared.  The bridesmaids carefully navigated their way down the rose petal strewn aisle, almost walking tiptoe as heels sank dangerously deep in the saturated ground.  At once the bridal entrance music began and Monica escorted by her proud father joined Jason, Craig, friend and wedding officiant, and the wedding party.  Overhead the clouds grew darker yet.  The wind picked up.  White petals from the apple trees framing the wedding party blew in profusion.  Wedding vows were quickly shared with Monica urging haste.  Thunder spoke to the need.  The kiss was given; the couple pronounced married and the wedding party quickly departed with guests fast on their heels.  A bucket sized drop splashed on my cheek as I raised my umbrella.  And just as the last guest entered the reception area, a torrential downpour opened up, the hardest rain of the day.

So, in my mind, the saying about rain being good luck on a wedding day has already shown itself to be true.  Monica had her outdoor wedding.  It will be a wedding remembered far longer and in more detail than some of the weddings I've attended.  The bride impressed me more than some, too.  She not only looked lovely and serenely happy, she also managed to take the weather with grace and good humor.  She showed herself to be someone I'd like to be with in a crisis-- calm, collected, and clearly focused on what's most important. 

The reception was wonderful.  Since the outside seating couldn't be used, extra tables were set up.  Guests enjoyed an open bar and an abundance of tasty treats, kept well stocked and at the appropriate temperatures.  The wedding toasts by the best man, Mark, and the maid of honor, Katie, Monica's sister, prompted good-natured laughter from the audience but also reflected the love and affection felt for the couple.  Friends and family left, not with spirits dampened by the weather, but with full stomachs and hearts lifted with love and respect for the couple. 

Yesterday, the first day of the couple's honeymoon was lovely and the forecast for the duration of their trip is the same.  I'd say good fortune is shining on them now and the prognosis for the future is good.  Wouldn't you?